Friday, April 13, 2007

Airline Simulator

It's been a long while since I've posted, not so much due to my being busy. In fact, I've had more canceled flights in the last three weeks than I can recall in quite a while. Nothing out of the ordinary, just the usual stuff - aircraft out for maintenance, bad weather, pilots getting sick ...

As fate would have it, I should be interviewing with a couple of regional airlines in the next two weeks. Isn't everyone with a commercial pilot certificate, at least 400 hours of total time, and a pulse interviewing for an airline job? I'll have more details as they become available. Until then (in case you haven't already seen it), try this simulation created by Dennis Stricklin to see if you'd like an airline job:

Here is a home study simulator course for those who still hunger for the romance and adventure of airline and charter flying. It will all come back to you if you practice the following at home:

1. Stay out of bed all night.

2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet for nine or ten hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.

3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.

4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating an eastbound flight into the sunrise.

5. Have bland, overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.

6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently.

7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside the bathroom door for a least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.

8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "rain" for twenty minutes, simulating the wait for the crew car.

9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand outside the door till you wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait you'd have while the maid makes up the hotel room.

10. When your spouse inquires, "Just what in the hell have you been doing?" just say "Recalling the allure of all night flying to romantic places" and collapse into bed.

11. If you are a purist, do this two nights in a row.


IWishIWasFlying said...

That's Hilarious!

I'm sure that you have more than 400 hours AM.

Doug said...

or, you could try this,

cubicle simulator:

1. go to your cubicle at work

2. expect your boss to come by at
anytime and ask why you are not done
with your latest assignment yet
and say that you are behind on your
next one

3. expect to be laid off at anytime

4. expect an increase in tech worker
immigration at anytime so you can
be laid off

5. expect a 21 year old to be hired,
that you will be told to train,
teach/spin up so you can be laid off

6. stay in your cubicle for at least
8 hours

7. watch as your friends get laid off
and sweat while you wonder if
you are on the list too

8. try to save money because you do not
get a pension and pay for flying
lessons too (and watch executives
buy mansions/islands)

9. repeat for 27 years

GC said...

Good stuff, John!

Please keep us posted about the airline interviews! If I can help you prep at all, let me know!


Jack said...

That was funny John!

Hope all goes well with the interviews. It will be interesting to see how this unfolds for you. Looking forward to blog posts on the subject.

John said...


Been there, done that!


I think have everything covered, but I appreciate the offer!